You know those people that walk into a room, and own it? I bet you can think of someone right now, whether it’s a friend, co-worker or even your local barista. How do they do it?

Guess what? There’s no magic trick. No gene that they have that you missed out on, no special potion they drink in the morning. In fact, everyone has it within them—including you. But embracing that confidence can be easier said than done. And that’s where my workshop comes into play!

Confidence Coach and Author, and there’s one thing I know for sure. Confidence is learned. I know this from life experience.

When I was a kid, we had very little money...

This didn’t seem like a problem to me until I went to my friends’ homes and saw that they had actual houses (we lived in apartments and sometimes shared housing). The kids all had their own bedrooms and a nice dining room table—some even had big gardens.

As a kid, I liked what I had until I got older and saw that people with bigger houses and more money were considered better and more important. Then I realized this made me feel like I’m less than other people. I had less, so naturally, I felt like a lesser human.

Of course this damaged my self-esteem. If I’d had no clue or paid less attention (hard but not impossible), my confidence in who I was and what I had would have stayed nicely intact. So as a kid I would try to compete for first place in ways I could control—because I was not gonna have the biggest garden any time soon. I was top of the class. I did my best to be funny and popular and always in a good mood. These things “worked.” And they still work, to some degree.

But when I’m motivated by an external limiting belief that I’m not enough, that leads me to believe I have to perform, whereas if I follow my natural human desire to feel good and authentic, I get a different result.

Whatever highs or achievements I experience don’t last when it’s coming from external prompts.

Doing me feels different. It allows me to be in a receptive mode—not just hustlin’ all day to impress my ex-husband's new wife’s sister’s neighbor.

Doing you means feeling inspired, acting on internal instinct, and moving forward in your decision-making from a place of alignment and joy (not desperation, fear, and the old compare-and-despair mentality).

Comparing and looking for validation outside yourself is a recipe for feeling baaaad about yourself. The root of real confidence is knowing who you are and being OK with yourself just as you are.

If you want to self-assured and confident person, exactly as you are without changing a thing— this is for you!